squeaklings: (ffxii - balthier cowboy)
[personal profile] squeaklings
Title: Glamour is the True End Game
Wordcount: 857
Fandom: FFXIV
Rating: G
Warnings: General silliness
Summary: Xiexie teaches Eon about the importance of fashion.
Notes: Because we could all use some silliness right about now.

“This is serious, Eon.”

The Miqo’te sat crouched atop the couch in the basement, a tuna miq’abob sticking out of his mouth as he stared at the pale-haired Lalafell stood in the center of the room. On her right were at least five (that he could see) planters sprouting various colored flowers, and on her left she had an assortment of hats half-falling off the counter.

“That one.”

Xiexie stomped her foot and snarled before settling back into her deceptively pleasant expression. Nothing good ever happened to him when she sported that smile—the Lalafell was a dangerous little popoto. “Until I get the tri-colored flower I need to know which color works best! And if not a flower, then I at least need a hat.”

Eon’s tail thumped against the couch, tap-tapping quietly but steadily as he slowly chewed his snack. Xiexie’s cheeks grew redder the longer he took, and he just managed to keep the smirk off his face. “Just throw something on, how hard can it be?”

She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose with tiny fingers. “It’s like talking to a wall,” she grumbled, and Eon’s ears twitched. “But fine. Different question.” She gestured at some coats hung along the wall, and a few pairs of boots lying underneath. “I am definitely wearing my Valerian smalls, but I need to know which coat and boots go best.”


“Long coats plus short shorts plus tall boots are best, don’t you even say otherwise.”

“I am hurt, Xie,” he said, and placed a hand over his heart. “I would never!”

She rolled her eyes so hard he could swear she gave herself a headache. “Please. Now take this seriously. You still owe me after the popoto ball debacle, or do I need to remind you again?”

Sore shins spoke otherwise, and Eon quickly shook his head and finished off his snack. He wiped his hands on his pants, jumped down off the couch, and tapped his chin thoughtfully as he stood beside her looking at the clothing choices.

“What abooooout…that one?” He pointed to the Yafaemi coat. “I like that style myself. I guess the Expeditioner boots might work too?”

“Hmm.” She tapped her chin as well, and then looked up at Eon with a smile that could cut leather. “I can’t picture it myself. Model for me.”

“Yyyyyeah, no.”

“Do it.”

“I am not wearing tho—yeaow!” His tail curled as she ground the butt of her staff into his foot, that smile still gracing her face. “Fine! Godsdammit you’re evil.”

“Mmm. Now strip.”

Eon had worn his fair share of gear over the years. From subligars to tattered rags to—for reasons he kept to himself—a Moogle outfit, he thought he’d worn it all, thought he’d been subjected to every degree of comfort imaginable. But squeezing himself into those tiny, short shorts was a feeling he had no name for. The version that fit him properly didn’t even look like this! How did females do it? How did they even walk once they were in there? He’d be chafing for days.

The smug, twisted smirk on Xiexie’s face did not help, either.

“Mistress,” he said with a snarl as the littlest Lalafell circled around him with her chin in one hand.

“Hmmm…” She tugged at the coat and swatted his tail when he brushed it against her face. “I’m not sure it works. Light top and dark bottom?”

“There is nothing wrong with that!”

Xie shrugged. “I thought you said you didn’t care about fashion? How can I believe you?” She swatted his tail again. “There’s no helping it; you need to try another outfit.”

“Yeah, no.”

“You’re already in the shorts. Just do it you baby.” His tail smacked her upside the head hard enough to muss her hair. “Oh you did not.”

“Oh I just did.”

Massive waves of aether billowed around Xiexie as her eyes went blank and she slowly began to ascend into the air. The hair he’d knocked loose with his tail whipped around her ears violently as Eon quickly grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

“Hey, wait! You’re gonna break the house!” Aether nipped at his fingers and he flinched but didn’t let go. Gods damn all Lalafells, and him too. “Fine! I’ll model your godsdamned clothes, just don’t Holy the house!”

As simple as blowing out a candle all the aether dissipated from around Xie and she smiled and tapped Eon’s cheek. “That’s what I thought.”


“Nice shorts.”

Eon smirked at the pugilist beside him as he leaned on his axe and examined his nails. Xie stood beside him in her matching outfit, her staff demurely held before her as she watched their fellow adventurers pass by.

“It’s not so bad, is it?” She grinned up at him as a group of Lalafell passed by, pointing and chuckling to themselves. “I told you fashion was important.”

Another adventuring group passed by and he winked at the Miqo’te Seeker whose eyes lingered a little long. She smirked back and blew him a kiss.

“You know? I think you were on to something.”

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